Wednesday, April 14, 2010


Gotta Love Stumpleupon for showing me that my shoe addiction has reached it's pinnacle.

So, for those of you who know me personally, you know that I am deathly afraid of spiders.  I mean I have run screaming from a room leaving my 9 year old for dead when I have spotted what I think is a menacing spider. Am I proud of this? No.  Am I embarassed by this? Absolutely not.

That being said; for those of you who know me, I have also been known to wear some pretty outrageous outfits, (a white prom dress with white cowboy boots comes to mind), but I would NEVER I mean NEVER wear a tarantula on anything I own, much less IN anything I own.  Even if it was plastic. But in this case, that's a real spider and I wouldn't be able to sleep knowing that these bad boys were in my house. 

I think the only person that could wear this and get some benefit from it would have to be a stripper, because that's a whole new level of crazy/sexy even I can't compete with. 

On a different note though, I bet the height makes your legs look really long and sexy. But I would rather wear that prom dress and cowboy boots to work than wear these shoes for one minute.

The aquarium shoes on the other hand, I would wear.

Except for the fact that the entire time I would be worried about the fish being sloshed around and I most definitely would be attacked by members of PETA (this is LA afterall) and I can't take all that drama.  So I'll leave the fish shoes to some drag queen who is obviously more glamourous and definitely braver than I am.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Stop Subjecting Us To Your Camel Toe

While coming out of the Bagel Nosh this morning, I noticed an older couple was leaving at the same time.  They were walking in front of me and I quickly deduced that they were quite fashionable.  They dressed as if they worked in the Fashion District downtown. (No, for those of you who understand what I'm talking about, they weren't tragically hip wearing crazy shit just to stand out because they didn't get enough attention growing up, what I mean is that they were pretty damn stylish)  For example: He was wearing a blue striped shirt, dark washed jeans and beat up brown shoes and he was probably in his late 50's.  She was wearing a blue (jewel toned) sweater with leggings, knee high boots, Marc Jacobs sunglasses and a fabulous scarf with blues and golds.  She was also in her late 50's.  So far so good right? 

Here's where it takes a turn for the worst.  While checking out the top half of her outfit I was impressed, but then as I glanced downward I noticed that the sweater was shorter than it should have been.  Well, that's not entirely fair, this lady had a great body and if you can pull off leggings without your butt covered by all means do it.  It wasn't the fact that her sweater was too short that was the kicker, it was her undergarments that got to me.

If you need/like to wear a full brief, by all means do it.  Just know this: in order to pull off a full brief please make sure the panty lines do not show, and for the love of god if they happen to show, please make sure they are not squeezing your lady parts for all the world to see.

And that's what was happening around 9:30 this morning at the Bagel Nosh in Santa Monica.  Leggings were advertising a full ill-fitting brief underneath that not only put this woman's camel toe proudly for the entire population on Wishire Boulevard to view, but when she turned around they cut off her butt into four pieces and made two of them look like they were struggling to get out of an overstuffed basket. 

What the hell is going on here?  Since when did we stop looking in the mirror before leaving the house?  Ugh.  This isn't Chip N Dales ladies, the one with the biggest package doesn't get the best shift just so you know.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

I Can't Help It

Maybe it's because I moved to the West Coast where it is largely more informal in their style of dress, or maybe it's because I may be getting a tad bit older in my style of dress, but the bottom line is: It's time for me to succumb to the fact that I need a pair of flats. 

I come from the school of thought that the longer your legs appear, the slimmer and sexier you appear.  This is not wrong by any stretch, but living a few blocks from the beach you tend to look ridiculous wearing 4 inch Louboutins on a walk to Whole Foods for some milk. If I lived on 5th Ave sure....but Santa Monica is no Manhattan.

So in my quest to incorporate a pair of (gasp) flats into my wardrobe I have found a few pairs that I might consider, but haven't made the leap yet.  So far these are the front runners.  Let me know what you think.

all of these were featured in Lucky Magazine this month.

Monday, April 5, 2010

I Tried Kiehls

So in this day and age of financial uncertainty, my "thing" is to find great deals.  You might think I'm cheap but the truth is; I learned a long time ago that you don't have to spend a fortune to look good.

So...while walking past a Kiehls store I decided to go inside.  I had only seen it in Neiman's and never thought twice about it.  As I was walking around the store, I noticed that the prices weren't as high as I thought.  ($25-$45 for eye cream, which is still pretty pricey, but it's eye cream for Christsakes. That is really important)

The lady that came over was very helpful when I told her I hate the wrinkles around my eyes and the fact that, despite living 18 blocks from the beach, my skin is drier than Vegas in the winter.

So she gave me some samples.  Samples!!! Holy shit I love samples.  The key is to just prick the package with a pin and they can last up to three weeks.  I'm serious.  I use this trick everytime I get a sample and I'm glad I do, because you can't tell if you really like a product until you've used it for at least a week.

That being said, she gave me a small packet of Abyssine Eye Cream, Abyssine Cream (for night repair), Ultra Facial Moisturizer and The Midnight Recovery Concentrate (featured above).  I felt like Santa Claus was real that day and ran home to try them out.

1. The first thing I tried was the Abyssine Eye Cream.  I would actually rename this to "holy mother this really works eye cream" I saw a difference the very next day in lines and wrinkles around my eyes and almost two weeks later they are barely visible.  I still use a de-puff roller in the morning, but those bad boys around my eyes are a faint memory. (remind me to replace my facebook picture!)

2. Next was the Abyssine Cream or what I would name it: A scorching sunburn in a packet.  Apparently, this is the big daddy of creams that Kiehls has to offer in terms of lizards such as myself.  When I applied this cream after washing my face I like I had just had a mild chemical peel.  There was something in it that made my skin red and itchy and my whole face felt like a sunburn. For whatever reason, I decided to try it again the next day and the same thing happened so I nixed that one completely.

3. The Midnight Recovery Serum.  This magical little oil is supposed to make you wake up with younger skin after only using two drops.  This is true.  You do wake up with younger skin; the skin of a teenager with an acne problem.  It's an oil that has a pleasant smell and does make your face feel soft and smooth, but be forewarned; I do not have acne and I never have.  I may have gotten a pimple here and there, but after three days of using this product I had 7 (7!) pimples on my face. What. The. Fuck. No thank you.  Needless to say, I am no longer using it.

I have yet to try the Ultra Facial Moisturizer on account of the fact that my second puberty isn't cleared up yet.  But once it does I will give it a try. 

But needless to say, I have found an eye cream out of all this that was definitely worth the small amount of temporary acne.

Full price you can get the Abyssine Eye Cream for $33 which isn't cheap, but a lot less than the LaMer I used to use back in the day which retails for $125.  I tried drug store brands such as Olay and Roc and I even tried eye creams from Philosophy and none came close to the results I got with Kiehls. 
So I've had a lot of fun writing about this and that, but now it's time to get down to business.  What I'm really trying to contribute with this blog is to help the real woman look good.  I'm not talking about the women who have a full time nanny and don't work (although I may be able to give you some tips) I'm talking about the woman with a full time job, (and YES being a stay at home Mom counts here, because that is an all-the-time job) and really helping out with tips on what styles work for a specific body type, where to get items for as cheap as you possibly can, and just finally being able to feel good about yourself, even if you don't have money in the bank and a kid that's screaming in the background.

Aside from the non-supportive bra, (come on ladies, rule #1 is wearing the proper undergarments but look for a full blog on that to follow) the woman above could have been me before I decided that I was worth a shit and should get to feel good about myself every once in a while.

And you know what, you should too.  So feel free to email me style questions, makeup questions and general "I really like this (blank) but don't know how to wear it" questions.