Stop Subjecting Us To Your Camel Toe

While coming out of the Bagel Nosh this morning, I noticed an older couple was leaving at the same time.  They were walking in front of me and I quickly deduced that they were quite fashionable.  They dressed as if they worked in the Fashion District downtown. (No, for those of you who understand what I'm talking about, they weren't tragically hip wearing crazy shit just to stand out because they didn't get enough attention growing up, what I mean is that they were pretty damn stylish)  For example: He was wearing a blue striped shirt, dark washed jeans and beat up brown shoes and he was probably in his late 50's.  She was wearing a blue (jewel toned) sweater with leggings, knee high boots, Marc Jacobs sunglasses and a fabulous scarf with blues and golds.  She was also in her late 50's.  So far so good right? 

Here's where it takes a turn for the worst.  While checking out the top half of her outfit I was impressed, but then as I glanced downward I noticed that the sweater was shorter than it should have been.  Well, that's not entirely fair, this lady had a great body and if you can pull off leggings without your butt covered by all means do it.  It wasn't the fact that her sweater was too short that was the kicker, it was her undergarments that got to me.

If you need/like to wear a full brief, by all means do it.  Just know this: in order to pull off a full brief please make sure the panty lines do not show, and for the love of god if they happen to show, please make sure they are not squeezing your lady parts for all the world to see.

And that's what was happening around 9:30 this morning at the Bagel Nosh in Santa Monica.  Leggings were advertising a full ill-fitting brief underneath that not only put this woman's camel toe proudly for the entire population on Wishire Boulevard to view, but when she turned around they cut off her butt into four pieces and made two of them look like they were struggling to get out of an overstuffed basket. 

What the hell is going on here?  Since when did we stop looking in the mirror before leaving the house?  Ugh.  This isn't Chip N Dales ladies, the one with the biggest package doesn't get the best shift just so you know.